What Allah wills..

Next week is the date of my viva, to upgrade from MPhil to PhD. If I pass, then i can continue with my study, if not, then Allah yang Maha Mengetahui. As i try to finish my slides, somehow I don't even know what I want to do. I have submitted my report 2 weeks ago, but now everything is blurry.

My decision to do PhD was really rezeki. At one point in my life I was trying everything, even auditioning for a place as a newsreader.. hehehe.. throughout that I was consistent with istikharah and prayer that Allah will show me the way, and somehow the road to PhD yang Allah permudahkan.. but tiada yg datang bergolek.. Susah juga nak dapatkan opportunity ini, I worked and tried and worked and tried, now tawakkal and hope for the best. Tapi ini semua rezeki dari Allah..


Doing PhD has been a dream of mine since like ever.. based on the stories of others, I realise how difficult it is.. and still being consistent with my istikarah and prayer, next week is the deciding date.

It's not easy juggling study and housework.. sometimes I wonder why Allah chose me to be here. Am I worthy? Can I do this? Is this really my path? I don't know.. i have next week to find out. Whatever God wills for me, I accept and redha. Semoga usahaku selama ini tidak sia-sia.. Amin.

What I've been up to

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cooking

Anakku...

After 39 weeks and 5 days, we are proud to present our beautiful baby boy, Muhammad Naqeeb b Muhd Sujairi to the world.. Alhamdulillah, everything went well. I had normal delivery and baby was delivered on 20th August at 6.16am at St Peter's Hospital, Surrey..

I was fortunate to have both my loving hubby and my supportive mum with me at labour ward.. Sakitnya bersalin Allah saja yg tahu.. teringat Surah Maryam menceritakan bagaimana Maryam sewaktu sakit bersalin berpaut kepada pohon tamar for support.. My doa, semoga baby adik jadi orang soleh dan penyejuk hati Ummi dan Abah..

Allah knows best..

Being brought up in a religious background, my faith has always been my salvation. Throughout history, religion has always been a saviour, an answer to life's complicated questions..

Though the baby has not yet arrived, i know Allah knows best.. Aqil is 2 years old and cannot tak properly yet, i know that Allah knows best.. why things are happening now than before, only Allah knows why..

Yes sure we try, we work at things, we make doa.. but like my wise mum always say.. we do not always know what lies in the future.. what Allah does not give in this way, He will compensate with other things..

'Dan sekiranya harta benda itu berharga disisi Allah, nescaya akulah antara orang berada.. namun, harta benda tidak berharga sebesar nyamuk pun, tetapi bagi mereka Allah berikan kefahaman tentang perkara' -sabda Rasulullah-


yes, we don't know what the future holds..


wahai Tuhan yang membolak balikkan hati, tetapkankanlah hati ku pada jalanMu yang lurus...


Tiada apa yang pasti kecuali mati....

Baby's head is down..

Today went for antenatal visit.. Alhamdulillah everything is well.. Heard baby's heartbeat through doppler (in UK they only scan u for 12th and 22nd week of pregnancy).. bump is growing fine.. but the news of the day for me is the baby's head is down.. MasyaAllah.. masuk 35 weeks dah, i anticipated that the head will position itself that way in 36 weeks onwards.. maknanya sekarang kena easy on the walking and climbing stairs cos surely i'll be breathless.. and harap2 dia stay that way in preparation for normal delivery..

Now i'm nervous..........

Unexpected journey

Last Saturday, I suddenly discovered that I had to have a very important document before i can send them into a public service department. I have been working late the previous night so when i stumble upon this i called my friend Khairizan aka Izan Boy who was in London at the time to pass it to my hubby in M'sia when she goes back the following day.

My plan was to go to London by train, stop at Richmond then take a tube to Hammersmith and bus to Marble Arch (supposed to meet her at Primark).. then somehow, bila sampai kt Richmond, district line was closed for weekend overhaul so i waited for another train to go to Waterloo.. bila sampai, mula2 ingat nak ambik cab, then kat sana, discovered there's a bus to Hammersmith so went on that.. oh god, what a long way to go dgn jam lagi and Aqil fell asleep by then.. in the middle of my journey, Izan said they're off to Edgware Road so masa tu dah rasa tak larat tahap max, ingatkan i just go to her apt in Vauxhalland drop off the documents jelah.. but Allah has a way off making a light in every grey cloud.. tgh2 bus ride, i saw Fulham Broadway station.. checked it out and it goes to Edgware Road, so berhenti the next stop and walked to the station. Alhamdulillah there was lift so senang nak turun but i know Edgware Rd takde that facility (i dont understand why TfL tak nak buat lifts for all their stations).. so mmg berdoa je sepanjang jalan.. when i got there, tangganya tinggi tp rezeki one of the workers was heading downstairs so together we lifted Aqil's pushchair naik stairs.. penat sangat tp Alhamdulillah baby tak ragam..

sampai sana met Izan kat Restaurant Melur.. the 1st things she said to me was "you bawak Aqil, i didn't know.. i thought you came here by yourself".. "you're so strong.. you have my respect".. masa tu rasa nak menitik je air mata.. tak tahulah kenapa.. it's so hard to cry these days but there was something in the warmth of her voice that just touched me..

after lunch (Izan belanja) Aqil and I tagged along Izan and her inlaws for shopping.. they went to Harrods.. dulu i went with my hubby but I didn't like it very much sbb it was crowded and expensive.. but this time I loved it.. tgh sale but being a student, you're on a budget so I just bought 3 items, a Harrods mug, baby carrier bag and a nice bag for me. Izan's MIL and SIL, Zaida was really helpful.. Diaorg la yg tolong jagakan Aqil when i look for stuff.. I was so grateful.. what turned out to be a disastrous journey in the beginning ended up being a nice day..

then we took a cab to Izan's lovely apartment. Tumpang solat n rehat kejap.. then Izan and Zaida had to go for another spot of shopping so she asked me to wait till she comes back.. in the meantime, Aqil and Adriana (who is sooo cute) were enjoying themselves lari2 kt apt tu.. and bila they got back, it was already late so they asked me to stay for the nite.. Segan i told her but she said "don't worry about it, i know what it's like to be pregnant, you need all the attention".. Izan, only Allah can balas everything.. thank you so much..

so the next day as they head to the airport, we head back to Surrey.. i remember thinking it's one of the happy days of my life here.. like my friend once said to me, in every struggle, adalah bahagian kita yang Allah nak bagi..

Update on PhD

Dear Nur

This is to confirm that you have now fulfilled the requirements for MPhil Registration. I have attached a copy of your assessors’ comments for your information and you may wish to take their comments into account when preparing your upgrade report for transfer of registration from MPhil to PhD.

Transfer from MPhil to PhD should take place no earlier than 12 months and normally no later than 15 months after your enrolment date. This means that, according to Registry's records, you should have upgraded to the degree of PhD by 18 April 2010.

Please note that the Division recommends that you upgrade 12 months after your enrolment date.

I have attached information that might prove useful when you are upgrading from MPhil to PhD.



- Alhamdulillah :D -